Media is a fickle thing. you may find yourself open and defenseless if you rely on it for nutrients.
Is it hard to believe that the inspiration is myself? think of the world of today, the world of tomorrow. the reason we are here is because humans were given the ability to adapt and expand. our minds take a simple seed, a concept of sorts and wrap it up in our fleshy prison like minds. we erode away, further and further until we are left with a raw design, an imaginative idea or ideal for what it should be. we then mutilate and deform what our minds hold captive until it represents best what our ideal is, and we convey this to the world as a 'thought' or a 'concept'. the things you may find inspirational, were once imprisoned in minds of great value, formed from in the blink of an eye. i do not wish to convey anyone's twisted ideal but my own.
living here may be the least of your worries my dear. you too in rebellion have done your share of concept mutilation -- isn't that what rebelling is? you take the standard ideal of law and control and you twist and contort it into what you deem to be a more pleasing ideal, and as a childish whim you act on your new found catalyst as though the epitome of success. we continue to do this until our late late years where we find ourselves justified as 'adults' and productive members of society. so i raise the question: are we adults of maturity acting as children of inexperience, or are we children of reality acting as adults of nobility.
why do you wish to see my scars? look at my body, i will not hide the scars that cover it. within due time every scar will be seen. a scar is a reminder, a visual aid for memory that at one point we were wounded, bleeding, left to rot in our emotions, but overcame our own dramatic downfall only to stand and be looked upon as a monstrosity. might i give you inspiration? scars are healed, if you seek them you will only find what one believes and associates to be the most logical solution. interest is more held in the wounds that are fresh and gory. that way you can stick your fingers in and mutilate it like a concept or idea, and shift small parts of those wounds into your ideal scar for someone's body.
what you may seek is animated frustration, the irritating ideology of society. the twisted concept that is found in most humans that talk. you may see them at the store, you may walk by them on the street. they are twisted, cut open from early childhood and mutilated by the generation above, beside and below. taught that each role is as your so dear media dictates. the reason this has dug its way into my skin is simple, i cut myself open and forcefully removed as many hands as i could just so i could mutilate myself. i took my own flesh and caused it pain, i forced it in ways that are disgusting and repulsive because i knew that eventually i would be myself. now i can walk free in the streets. i have cut myself to remove the poison that was helping me live.
my patience lasts still to this day. i grow thin but not weak. my motive is to stand tall in front of the brainless puppets that society is calling 'women' and 'men'. i wish to twist their ideals, to mutilate each one in ways that they do to themselves each night. to stick my finger in their disgusting wounds and draw a smile with their blood.
you once asked why i burn all the gifted bridges, when i was not holding a match or kerosene. i have never held a knife to a neck that opposes me as i have never ran from those that oppose me. if you fall against me then so be it, i will live to experience and through experience i will live proper to my morality. in this way i will defeat all that oppose me. in the end, you are only fighting against yourself. that is the paradox of the human mind. you can only operate on the fuel you accept and you will only stop when you stop feeding yourself that fuel.
do not be afraid of what i say because it is only but a garnish to the love in my heart. without truth, love becomes weak. without love, truth becomes harsh.
have you tried to garnish truth with love recently? i have. people thought it to be disgusting and they alienated me because of it. that does not matter as much to imply that things have become deformed in the minds of many.
dare you dive deeper into the rabbit hole Ella?
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