Hiding Between Parked Cars...

Because it's safe there where no one can see you
and no one can drag you out and say
explain yourself! Why are you runnin?

explanation
communication
studies prove that I am weak in this area

Sharing leads to the dragging out of skeletons
sometimes
but more often
it leads to untieing thread that holds a wounded heart together.

Sewn so tightly inside, not an emotion may escape
and the few escapees are impossible to be described

so

I don't understand this at all. I do not intend to push you away
but maybe I'm not pulling you close as you like?
I dont know how to deal with... with... THIS.

relationships... what are those now? well? what are they? and no I don't mean dating I mean friendships too. I mean, why is it that I cannot face up to the ones I love the most?!

I beg your forgiveness
I beg you to see that our forbidden was not to be. We agreed that we would hand over the reigns of our hearts to be lead in the directions each were meant to to go.

One day, when I learn how to be a friend, we shall talk again. But here I am friendless in a world of friends and nothing could be truer.

Well, the result of reading the past two messages is what you have read. I'm sorry for the disorganized-ness but this is how my thoughts pour out.

I miss you.

One day we will run side by side, look over at each other with that little twinkle of memory in our eyes and never stop being friends.

Okay, I'm really done now. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

here there and everywhere

how much more direct can i be.
countless times i have made it clear,
im asking you to speak to me
simply because you wont let me speak with you.

take into context my words, i wish to speak with you but it always ends to be one sided. even though you start a topic, your responses seem lifeless like it holds no value. my questions are answered bluntly without positive feedback leaving me feeling like our conversation really has no meaning.

know that i remember that you said we would not be able to chat much due to studies, but you never informed me of any changes in how you felt. you left me confused and shattered, running with broken knees when all i asked for was your hearts thought no matter how confusing it may be.

every bump in the road is a sign to take it slow and to be careful. so are you going to slow down or have you already taken a detour?

Water of the melon left to dry.

what is hard to see is under my tranquility.
im am like that of a well trained Thoroughbred,
i follow that at which my reigns are being told.

if you mount me, i carry you with ease,
if you push my sides i will run with you
and if you pull the reigns i will stop with you.
but when i am an animal none the less
so your language remains unclear to me.

a gentle tug in the direction you want me to go,
this is all i have ever asked for, and yet,
you have dismounted and slapped my rear
in that of an open field none the less.

is this where you want me to run away from you master?
after all we have been through are you pushing me away?

all i ask for is your direction.
should i stay or should i go?
if so, pull my reigns, tell me what you want openly,
or remove these reigns and saddle so that i may be free
and one day look back on you...
not in ill, but as the first human that was direct enough
to at least tell me what they want and feel...

Broken Trust

A million tiny fragments
Once a beautiful work of art
Built over time with patience and love
And thrown against a stone floor

Held in shaking hands
Cutting the tender skin
The shedding blood the glue
To hold it back together again

Nothing can be the same
And nothing can be undone
Broken can be remade
Pieces will be missing and nothing the same

Can you steady these hands?
Clean off the blood
Take what has been remade
And love it as the original?

Sorry is the word that collects the pieces
Patience is needed as the skin is cut
Time is taken to rebuild what is broken
Love is what forgives in the end

~EJ