an edge to reality

tonight, i was sold to Russians by my family like a dog, lost in snowy woods with my best friend and drove a car that became a burning log. one thing stood out among those all, and this is what i can recall.

the furthest point i can remember in the main plot is standing on a bridge. it was a different type of bridge, one with a separate bridge just above the normal bridge.

there was an accident there, a part of the overhead bridge was exposed to the lower and a man that was driving had gone from this lower bridge to the higher bridge. police had swarmed the lower area and were trying to figure out how he could possibly make it to that higher area. i just stood there watching them, listening to their ideas. they were all wrong, they could not figure it out. i knew how, i was willing to show them, but my voice was a distant fade. no one had reason to listen to a bystander in this case, so i went on my way.

everything faded suddenly into third person. there was regular small-city street, a sidewalk in particular. it was on a hill. a young man in his late teens was biking with his younger brother. they came up to some chocolate bars, candy that was individually wrapped, clean, tempting. the older brother said "i know it looks like it could be bad but i have had a rough enough time in my life and im going to have a break.
he bent down and picked up some candy and as he did, something caught his eye. there, beside a doorstep was a pile of neatly organized bulk bagged candy. he forgot about the candy bars he saw before and went for this treasure he had found, his little brother standing there, watching. the older brother took a giant scoop with both arms wide to get as many as the candy bags as possible when a man appeared standing over him.
the older brother realized he had forgotten his jacket somewhere, at a bridge when an accident happened. winds started to blow and snow came as the older boy grew cold and alone. the older man said "i found a jacket by a bridge. it had lots of candy in its pockets." he paused "i had set the candy there and donated it and the jacket to homeless children." anger grew within the teen. the man had left and it became night time. the teenager walked back and forth outside yelling how much he hated everyone and everything, throwing snow at windows.

i stood in a dim lit house on a second story floor that was connected with the street watching this teen. the teen hung his head in shame and walked up a set of stairs towards me and into this dim lit house, as he got close to me he dissipated.
the scene shifted to a house i have got to know well recently. Alice lives here. two friends were there, Mercury and Alice. - Alice is a girl i recently got mixed up with. a situation i regret entirely. - Alice and Mercury were talking, i had a hood on and was standing close to them. they did not seem to notice me at all. they talked about boys and somehow it came to me. "ah, him. that is nothing to talk about" Alice said spitefully. i thought that i had completely vanished from them so i walked between them and took off my hood. suddenly Alice clung to me and didn't let go. she had me against the wall hugging me quietly. everything faded back to the small dim lit house where the teenaged boy who dissipated was.
an older male appeared then. his skin was dark and he was wearing a grey jacket. somehow i knew he was an angel. i turned from the street and saw him and behind him the scenery of a small town between some hills that was lit in glowing streetlights.
i turned to this angel and was quiet. the angel spoke first. "what is it your looking for?" i had no response. "do you look for a chance to speak?" he said casually. the angel went on, " i remember when i had a rough time in heaven. i had requested to go back to earth. i nearly lost the father, but things got better." what the angel said just then sounded so surreal, coming back from heaven? no way! suddenly a microphone appeared in front of me. the angel said "here is your chance to speak what you feel, i will listen to what you have to say. there are guidelines though." guidelines? i thought as he continued. "yes. one, you must not scream or yell. we don't want to wake anyone. two, no using profanity, no swearing. three, you must not curse me, the father, or anyone else out."

i took a step back, turned around and walked towards the microphone quietly. "it is got to be hard to communicate my feelings without swearing you.." just as i was cut off by the angel in speech. "hey there son, how is it going?" the angel said as a little boy ran up to him. the angel slowly directed all attention to his boy and began to walk away. i felt ignored, overlooked, insignificant, unimportant, betrayed. he gave me a chance and left just as i was about to speak, like my feelings don't matter at all. i took a step past the microphone towards the small view overlooking the snowy dark town, it was beautiful, nostalgic in a way.
everything shifted. the view of the dark lit town became a wide open rolling stream of water, a beautiful forest stretching in front of me. i did not dare look back to lose this sight. the sun beating on my face, it felt so warm. "God, i don't want to lose this. i don't want to go back to the cold." i thought. suddenly jeeps and trucks started running through the waters, destroying everything. i was not surprised as much as amused at them splashing through the water and spinning around. soon enough all that was left was a muddy creek and me standing in the middle of it.
two friends were there, Mercury and Alice. they stood in the water with me. i did not say much, but i tried to make the most out of our situation. i took lead and lead them up the creek, water soaking up to our waists in muck. i joked around lots, did my best to make this horrible situation better and it worked for a while. but just as i got to a nice point,a small bend in the creek, my wallet fell out of my pocket.
black with lime green trim, made of duct tape. it was a special wallet made for me by a friend a long time ago, uniquely mine. i started to wade after it. i grabbed it in hopes that nothing had fallen out, but i had lost all my money, my bank cards and two movie tokens. i started to be swept a bit down stream by the current. Mercury and Alice has came back and gathered all my items i lost from my wallet. Mercury got close and carefully put it in my hands so i would not lose any of it. i closed my hands and looked back. to my left there was a small path to get out of the creek. i swelled with joy as i got out of the water. i dried up and was met by a not so well known but a joyful face. her name is Tia. she was just in the creek as well in some sort of game with her friends. she was chosen to be the "dead princess" she said. we walked for a little bit until we came upon a school.
walking towards the entrance of the school more familiar faces became present to my awareness. Krista, Katja. two cheerful balls of joy that tend to make me giddy. there was another who stood on the opposite side of the crowd to me. this one i knew well even though i could not see her face. Sierra was with us. my heart felt strangely unburdened and comforted by this. this small group of people that i did not know all to well due to distance between our homes, they felt so welcoming and it felt like a place of belonging. we all walked into the school together, all of us joking around, laughing, having a great time as friends walking through these school halls. Krista sat in front of a classroom door and began to study. i made a remark about the time i shadowed all of her classes in school and she smiled and hid her face in her palms. everyone laughed. we walked around one corner and then everything changed, students swamped the area and i found myself without Tia. i caught a glimpse of who looked to be Katja and Sierra so i followed them. they looked a bit different but i followed none the less.
the two characters i followed sat down and looked at me, both with fake bleached hair. i stared at them and they kissed each other. i felt alone, lost, like i had wandered away, it was my fault i was lost. i looked around, two directions to go, forward and away from where i might have lost the group or back down the hall i came. my smile was lost by this point. i chose the hall i came from and began to walk slowly. with only what seemed like 5 steps, Katja's face popped over a few shoulders in the swamp of students our eyes caught instantly. "Oh My Gosh!" she screamed in her uniquely high pitched and cute voice. she walked with me back down the hall we came. as we walked i could feel a sense of relief of great worry from Katja.

everything ended with that.

i woke up confused. my mind cycling around everything, trying to focus on Sierra. why did i even have a dream tonight let alone remember it. why those people? why did that group welcome me after everything that happened? Sierra was happy with me there? everything confused me. i wanted to go back to sleep. to walk the halls with that group again. to walk along and have fun with everyone and not carry the burdens i face... things are slowly getting better. every day she is on my mind. i still have hopes, aspirations for the years to come. two years i keep telling myself... we will meet again... until that time i wont see anyone... i cant... i will get out of this creek, this rut... in hopes that the last words she spoke to me will withstand time... like we always dreamed...

dreams that fade into the calm red morning sky,
as you sleep you slowly die.
you never know what awaits
in a land slowly drifting into the wake.