Lies.

isnt it just peachy... the numb feeling of worthlessness, foolishness.

the feeling of being almost utterly useless, aside from being used to consume oxygen. its worse than quitting drugs or medication. it comes back and chokes up all you know, then laughs at you like you are a pathetic excuse of a human. worthless.

it seems like now there were so many things that i can remember promising i would never do. how i would act and react to a situation. it had only seemed like a short while that things were going great, gave it all and saw light. then i jumped. foolish.

this daunting number. its 2. comes right after one. if you add two ones together, you get two. there were two two's in that equation. 2x1=2. two weeks. that lasted for a little over two times six months. that is one year. what seemed like the same amount of time for things to build up again. two times six equals one. one more chance. two months of bitter sweet. two weeks of constant high and prayer. two times four. thats how long it took for the withdrawals to lighten up. two times three is how long it has been. and 2 to the power of 20 is how many times i thought about it.

Lies.

the looming two. the daunting two. the two that is laughing at me now. it has happened two times in two days, this feeling. its a feeling of melancholic wonder. a type of thing that leaves me asking when the next two is going to choke my nice O2. maybe it does not have to happen again, maybe two is just enough to make one. or maybe two is coming in the near future. ie, one cant wait for two to get here.