Sunday, April 8, 2012
- Do you think like all the rest?
"Only five left..." I think to myself at I start to boil water
for instant noodles. Thoughts of the few friends I still have
circle my head. "They are all probably enjoying the day with their
family, eating home cooked meals and smiling. I wonder what my
family is doing... Probably each getting drunk and eating
nice meals as well." I get lost in thought standing in front
of my warm stove as the water comes to a boil. I reach into
the small cupboard in the corner where I keep all of my food
and pull out a package of noodles. As I lower the heat and put
the noodles into the pot, somehow something possessed me that
today was special. I grab another package and cook it as well.
"Tomorrow and the day after..." I whisper this to myself as a
reminder that those are the days I will not be able to eat.
Separating my money for the month, counting out $20 for food and
the rest for bills... oh right, the bills... how could I have forgot?
I change my money distribution, $5 for food this month, the rest is
for bills...
I lay back on my bed thinking about how I nearly passed out at work
the day before, how my supervisor got angry at me for walking slowly.
As I lay my head on my air mattress one thing populates my mind,
"I cant stop fighting until it kills me... its killing me..."
I pass out...
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